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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Sun Jul 24, 2016 10:58 am
Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

Devil Fruit: Dino-Dino Fruit, Model: Velociraptor
Devil Fruit Type: Ancient Zoan

Devil Fruit Appearance: A Green Pineapple with white Swirls on it.
Devil Fruit Description: This Devil fruit give the user to partially or Completely transform into a Velociraptor, and he keeps his intelligence and gets increased ground speed, and he can use his fangs and claws and tail as natural weapons and it gives enhanced strength.

Devil Fruit Passive Abilities:
*Being able to Transform at will at any time
*Increased Land Speed
*Increased Natural Strength
*Can use Claws, Fangs and his Tail to fight with
*Partial Transformation gives 10% Increase to both Reflex and strength Individually.
*Complete Transformation Gives a 15% Increase to both Reflex and Strength .
*Can Only Stay Transformed for Five Turns.
*Gets an equal Debuff to Strength and Reflex for the transformation he uses, and it lasts the same amount of times the user was transformed.
Fighting Style: Velociraptor Brawling  
Weapon Utilization: None
Specialization: Melee and Ranged
Description:

Yuki can partially transform to use a punch with enhanced strength, Or Yuki can completely Transform and chomp onto his opponent with his fangs, or slash at them with his claws, or slam strangle his opponents with his tails. Yuki can also send razor sharp air at his opponent by using his claws or tail at a very high speed. Yuki calls it brawling because he was never formally trained in martial arts. Yuki fights with a mix of open palm strikes, and a broken form of Boxing, also clawing at his opponents like a raptor would when untransformed, or in partial transformation. When Yuki is completely Transformed he cant use open palms strikes or boxing, so he fights more like an dinosaur would when completely transformed, so a lot of clawing biting and whipping of his tail.

Techniques


Light Attacks:

Medium Attacks:

Heavy Attacks:

AOE Attacks:


Last edited by Yuki on Wed Jul 27, 2016 9:13 pm; edited 8 times in total
Anonymous
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 1:13 pm
Yuki, how much does your strength and reflex increase while in your Hybrid, and Full Raptor forms?(Please do percentages for this)

Can you also flush out your fighting style's description more?
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:01 pm
Ok Fixed Sora.
Anonymous
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:05 pm
The maximum radius for your AoE is 25% of the maximum range. Also, you may want to fix the name of your Medium technique.
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:15 pm
Ok Fixed Sora
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:35 pm
Yuki wrote:
Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

Devil Fruit: Dino-Dino Fruit, Model: Velociraptor
Devil Fruit Type: Ancient Zoan

Devil Fruit Appearance: A Green Pineapple with white Swirls on it.
Devil Fruit Description: This Devil fruit give the user to partially or Completely transform into a Velociraptor, and he keeps his intelligence and gets increased ground speed, and he can use his fangs and claws and tail as natural weapons and it gives enhanced strength.

Devil Fruit Passive Abilities:
*Being able to Transform at will at any time
*Increased Land Speed
*Increased Natural Strength
*Can use Claws, Fangs and his Tail to fight with
*Partial Transformation gives 10% Increase to both Reflex and strength Individually.
*Complete Transformation Gives a 15% Increase to both Reflex and Strength .
Fighting Style: Velociraptor Brawling  
Weapon Utilization: None
Specialization: Melee and Ranged
Description:

Yuki can partially transform to use a punch with enhanced strength, Or Yuki can completely Transform and chomp onto his opponent with his fangs, or slash at them with his claws, or slam strangle his opponents with his tails. Yuki can also send razor sharp air at his opponent by using his claws or tail at a very high speed. Yuki calls it brawling because he was never formally trained in martial arts. Yuki fights with a mix of open palm strikes, and a broken form of Boxing, also clawing at his opponents like a raptor would when untransformed, or in partial transformation. When Yuki is completely Transformed he cant use open palms strikes or boxing, so he fights more like an dinosaur would when completely transformed, so a lot of clawing biting and whipping of his tail.

Techniques


Light Attacks:

Medium Attacks:

Heavy Attacks:

AOE Attacks:

This has my seal of approval!
Anonymous
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 4:02 pm
I apologize Yuki, I am a new staff member and did not realize that your passives were unbalanced.

You will be needing to put equivalent debuffs in defense and willpower or you need to put in a post limit on how long you can be transformed, but you will need a debuff to your strength and reflex by the same amount of posts you are transformed as. If you choose the second option the max duration should be 5 posts.
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 6:27 pm
Ok Sora  I fixed it did I do it right?
Anonymous
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 6:56 pm
Partially, you still need to add in the debuffs to your defense and willpower while you are transformed.


Edit: Sorry! Confused myself with that... I meant that for option two you need to have debuffs to your Strength and Reflex equal to the buffs, and for the same amount of time after your transformation ends.
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 7:43 pm
Ok Fixed again lol
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 8:23 pm
You didn't fix anything.

You need to put the same buff but as a debuff for the maximum amount of posts.

This debuff is to Strength and Reflex.
Anonymous
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Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor  Empty Re: Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Jul 27, 2016 9:16 pm
Yuki wrote:
Dino-Dino no Mi, Model: Velociraptor

Devil Fruit: Dino-Dino Fruit, Model: Velociraptor
Devil Fruit Type: Ancient Zoan

Devil Fruit Appearance: A Green Pineapple with white Swirls on it.
Devil Fruit Description: This Devil fruit give the user to partially or Completely transform into a Velociraptor, and he keeps his intelligence and gets increased ground speed, and he can use his fangs and claws and tail as natural weapons and it gives enhanced strength.

Devil Fruit Passive Abilities:
*Being able to Transform at will at any time
*Increased Land Speed
*Increased Natural Strength
*Can use Claws, Fangs and his Tail to fight with
*Partial Transformation gives 10% Increase to both Reflex and strength Individually.
*Complete Transformation Gives a 15% Increase to both Reflex and Strength .
*Can Only Stay Transformed for Five Turns.
*Gets an equal Debuff to Strength and Reflex for the transformation he uses, and it lasts the same amount of times the user was transformed.
Fighting Style: Velociraptor Brawling  
Weapon Utilization: None
Specialization: Melee and Ranged
Description:

Yuki can partially transform to use a punch with enhanced strength, Or Yuki can completely Transform and chomp onto his opponent with his fangs, or slash at them with his claws, or slam strangle his opponents with his tails. Yuki can also send razor sharp air at his opponent by using his claws or tail at a very high speed. Yuki calls it brawling because he was never formally trained in martial arts. Yuki fights with a mix of open palm strikes, and a broken form of Boxing, also clawing at his opponents like a raptor would when untransformed, or in partial transformation. When Yuki is completely Transformed he cant use open palms strikes or boxing, so he fights more like an dinosaur would when completely transformed, so a lot of clawing biting and whipping of his tail.

Techniques


Light Attacks:

Medium Attacks:

Heavy Attacks:

AOE Attacks:


For realz this time... Approved!
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